Sometimes children manifest in their behaviors (such as waking up at night at around the same time, not being able to accomplish simple tasks such as walking up the stairs, react violently to the unpredicted, …) or through somatizations (eczema, asthma, …), their family’s unsaid sufferings yet clearly perceived by the child’s unconscious mind.
Not All children of course and not All families either.
Nevertheless, when secrets are unsaid out of guilt or shame, when sufferings are unspoken, one of the children may embark with the unconscious mission of easing these sufferings and becomes the ‘Lightning Rod”.
Children rarely manifest these behaviors on their own account. they rather desperately try to relieve the System in which they are, typically their family which, by the way, may not be their present family but in relation with the ancestors.
So how can we help them ?
We play with them, draw, ask the Teddy Bear to say what needs to be said with the child’s voice, re-play the key family scenes, …
Also we thank them for all the efforts they are making to help their family and tell them (and the family) that his/her parents will from now on take care of what’s going wrong in the family and so, they’ll be able to sleep just fine and won’t have to manifest all these behaviors any more.
That, of course, if the parents are there and agree to take care of it. If not, then we simply tell the child that his/her concerns are heard and understood.
If the origin(s) of the suffering(s) do not rely in the present time but with the ancestors, then working with the entourage to restore the symbolic balance is a good way to ease all family members including the child.